


A Day in the Life of Superboy [Untitled work]

by glitterandlube



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-01
Updated: 2010-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-10 21:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterandlube/pseuds/glitterandlube





	A Day in the Life of Superboy [Untitled work]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merelymine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merelymine/gifts).



Kon still hates school. Everyday he walks in the door dreading every single minute, and when he leaves it's like the weight of the universe moves away.

On a Tuesday, he stops two football players from beating up a tiny freshman, who is clearly very very gay. Kon feels horrible for the kid, Kansas is the not the place for him. One of the football players calls out, "Helping your boyfriend, huh?"

Kon says, "Obviously because I'm not letting you kick the ass of a kid half your size, and he happens to be potentially gay, the only logical reason is because I'm gay, not that I'm say, a decent human being."

The other football player grunts. "Faggot."

"Is there something in the water here that makes everyone so fucking retarded? I'm suddenly really happy Ma insists we use a Brita filter."

"You get yours, Kent."

"I'll get my what? Fuck off."

The football players leave, and Kon looks at the kid, who is cowering behind a locker. The kid says, "You didn't have to do that."

Kon says, "Yeah, I did. My best friend is gay. Besides, that's the kind of person I am. You might want to stop wearing sparkly nail polish on your toes though. Or not. I support free expression."

The kid giggles, and vanishes off into the back of the lockers. Kon does a quick X-ray check to make sure no one else is back there, and he leaves. The next day Kon comes in wearing a shirt that says, "Don't hate because I'm beautiful, hate me because I fucked your dad." Clark did not find it funny in any way, shape, or form, but Kon fucking hates homophobes.

When he arrives at his locker, it's covered in rainbow stickers. He says, "Uh, thanks for the support everybody. What the fuck." The kid next to the locker says, "It's not support, you dumbass."

Kon says, "Gay pride stickers are created to support gay people, _you dumbass_. Wait, is that an octopus, that's awesome."

He calls Bart and Tim at the same time to say, "So, I got to school and they covered my locker in rainbow stickers."

"That's cool," Bart says. "I want rainbow stickers on my locker."

"I don't think they mean it in a nice way, Bart."

"Oh." Bart says. "I still want some. Maybe with glitter."

"We'll buy you some this weekend. Anyway, one of these is an octopus, is that like for gay people who like tentacle rape? Is there gay porn with tentacle rape in it?"

Tim says, "I'm sure there is," at the same time Bart says, "Yes, a bunch."

Kon laughs. "Thank you, Bart. I'm trying to peel this off for you. Shit, I tore it."

"Aww."

"I wonder where the hell they even got these."

Some kid wonders past and hisses, "Queer." Kon points to his shirt, and the guy says, "What the hell, you homo."

Kon says, "Hold on a minute." He puts the phone down, and says, "Hey, your dad paid me, and I needed the money."

The kid says, "Fuck you."

Kon looks him up and down and says, "Nah, my standards are higher than that."

Tim says, "Kon, you probably should stop any time before the guy punches you and breaks his entire arm."

"Serves him right." Bart says meanly.

"No argument, but people might work out he's Superboy. Even there."

Bart laughs.

Kon says, "He walked away. I'm sure they'll put semen on my locker later or something classy." He yawns. "If they put it in my books, I'll just take theirs. No big."

Bart says, "Take a picture of the front, I want to see it."

Kon snaps a picture with his iphone, and sends it to them both. Bart says, "I definitely want a rainbow octopus on my door."

Tim says, "They used a ton of them, those things aren't cheap. You might be right about the water in Smallville."

"Told you."

A teacher walks past him and does a double take at his shirt, and says, "Young man, that violates the dress code, and you are not allowed on a cell phone during school hours."

Kon says, "I'm talking to my shrink. I'm being harassed, and it's just so hard to make it through the day anymore." He sniffs. "I feel abused by the system."

Bart giggles into the phone, then says, "Oops, I have to go. Love you both."

Kon asks, "Why does he always say that?"

"Because he's a nice person," Tim answers. "And he wants us to know."

"Fine." Kon says, as the teacher continues to glare at him. "Tell Helena to start teaching at this bitch, I need some skirt to stare at."

Tim mutters something in reply that might be, "Suck a dick," in Romanian.

Kon says, "I love you, Timothy," and hangs up the phone.

"Your therapist?"

"We're really close." Kon replies flippantly. "He's the wind beneath my wings."

His phone vibrates and he looks down to see a picture of Tim flipping him off with a comment under it that says: I LOVE YOU TOO, CONNER. &lt;3 ALVIN.

 

ETA: [Rainbow Flash symbol](http://www.purplemoon.com/Stickers/images/bolt-rb2.jpg)

[Super Gay!](http://www.purplemoon.com/Stickers/images/superG.jpg)

No batman or R symbol. /shakes head/


End file.
